My heart will go on
by bvprincess23
Summary: I sat up slowly and scanned the dark room. I glanced beside me but the bed was empty.   'Of course… it was only a dream.'  ChiChi's thoughts and reflections the night after the Cell games. *Songfic*


_**(a/n-**__ Huh. Strange that the only Romance I have ever tried is between these two. And I'm planning another one with them! Maybe it'll be up by next week… so anyway, enjoy!)_

_**Disclaimer- **__I do not own DBZ. I do not own this couple. And I do not own the son "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion. (Yes, from the titanic!)_

_[Try listening to the song while reading the story! I love doing that, it almost made me cry.]_

_**My heart will go on**_

I blinked my eyes open in surprise.

'_Was he really-?' _

I sat up slowly and scanned the dark room. I glanced beside me but the bed was empty.

'_Of course… it was only a dream.'_

_**Every night in my dreams  
><strong>__**I see you, I feel you  
><strong>__**That is how I know you go on**_

I felt so sad, reminding myself that he was gone. He left me, he chose to stay in the afterlife because he believed it was for the best.

He didn't know how much he had broken my heart.

Of course, I could never blame him. Goku was so simple minded. So innocent. He never knew when he was hurting someone and he hurt me an awful lot.

But right now it hurt the most. Because he was so far away. He was dead and this time, he wasn't coming back.

_**Far across the distance  
><strong>__**And spaces between u  
>You have come to show you go on<strong>_

I laid back down in my bed trying to will myself to sleep. But I knew it was no use, I couldn't sleep. I missed him so much! It started when Gohan had brought me the news this afternoon, only a few hours ago.

I had been absolutely broken. I had fallen to my knees crying. I just didn't want to accept it. I couldn't accept that Goku was gone and… didn't want to come back. I loved him with all my heart. I needed him for Kami's sake!

I couldn't stand… I couldn't live with him being so far away from me.

_**Near, far, wherever you are  
>I believe that the heart does go on<br>Once more you open the door  
>And you're here in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on**_

'_Goku… why didn't you want to come back? Even if it was for the sake of the earth… whatever threat comes, you can protect us from! You are the strongest one here! And Goku… How could you leave me here all alone?'_

He's the only one I will ever love, like this. It's hard to find a love this deep.

My Goku… he didn't even know what it was to love a few years ago. I had to teach him and as hard as it was, I enjoyed every moment of it.

_**Love can touch us one time  
>And last for a lifetime<br>And never let go till we're gone**_

I know I can still love him even though he's gone… but it's not the same. I want My Goku here with me. I want to be able to touch him _[Stop thinking like that!]_, to hug him, to cuddle with him.

Cuddling…he didn't like it at first. He didn't understand it. He would think I was crazy if I got too close to him. But he started to get used to it.. I found that out on our wedding night.

He always said he just got used to the feeling of my body on his, holding him close.

That's what I wanted- no, that's what I needed right now. The comfort of his always warm body. His soothing voice calming me down. I wanted to run my hands through his hair. It was spiky, yet when you touched it, so feathery and light. Must be a Saiyan thing. Another one of those Saiyan features that I loved.

_**Love was when I loved you  
>One true time I hold to<br>In my life we'll always go on**_

When Gohan told me… I felt so empty. So lost… so… alone.

My whole body, mind and soul froze. I couldn't breathe at that moment…

I shook my head.

'_Get a grip, ChiChi!' _I mentally scolded. I shouldn't be remembering that! Not now, not after what Gohan had told me.

"_Mom." He had said gently, patting my back as I had cried my heart out. "It's alright! This is what dad wanted. He did it for you! He just wanted you to feel safe mom, he didn't want you to get hurt again because of him. Mom, he loves you!"_

'_Of course he loves me!'_ He's my husband, why wouldn't he? He only wanted me to be safe and happy.

So I should be happy. For him.

I know he loves me and he misses me no matter how far away he is. And I love him. I need to be strong for him. For Gohan… For our unborn child.

_**Near, far, wherever you are  
>I believe that the heart does go on<br>Once more you open the door  
>And you're here in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on**_

Pregnant. I'm pregnant but the child will never know the father. But I will do all I can to make sure that My unborn child will know everything about his/her father. I will teach them martial arts. That's exactly how Goku would have wanted it. I'll make my child the strongest in the universe! Even stronger than that stuck up, stubborn Vegeta!

And I'll love my husband from down here. That's another thing I'll do.

Nothing bad is going to happen anymore. We are finally at peace. Goku is watching all of us. He is _here_ with us, making sure everything will be alright. He is here with me.

He is not gone. He never is.

_**You're here, there's nothing I fear  
>And I know that my heart will go on<br>We'll stay forever this way  
>You are safe in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on**_

_**(a/n-**__ Well, that was another one of my atempts at an angst./Romance story! Did you like it? Do you think you're gonna review?)_


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